No one ever really dies as long as they took the time to leave us with fond memories.  ~Chris Sorensen

A lot has changed since the last time I posted and I BEG of your forgiveness in my lacking to stay on top of this little blog…thing.

One: The little gray mare (and her little pony companion) were sold to a BEAUTIFUL riding facility within the state. This was a good and positive decision and while I will probably never ride her again, she is doing what she does best: teach. She has taught me patience, and bravery and the joy of trusting a remarkably confident partner; she made me a better rider.

But I couldn’t do it without faithful and trustworthy friends to teach and guide me.
Enter flashback:

When I took on the gig of taking care of about ten horses (the little gray mare included) I came to be friends with a gentleman named David. David pulled me out from mucking one day and asked me to ride this little horse named Hakuta Matta. He was one we were trying to sell quickly and he was too big to ride him, so he asked me. He took some pictures and when we were done he said he was impressed with me, asked if I had professional instruction. At the time I wasn’t being trained under anyone…I was floundering between trainers and at the time the work to take care of the other ten horses was more pressing.
It was around this same time that I gathered the balls to mount the flighty gray mare on my own. What a spirit she had–but terribly apprehensive that anything she did wasn’t going to be good enough for her rider. I tried to make her understand that what she had…was gold. Don’t ever change. Just relax. Do your best.
She taught me to be confident in what I was doing was right. Follow through with your own decisions. Sit up. Pressure is okay. Conviction.

Conviction was one of the words that David always reminded me to pay attention to. Conviction. Determination. Approach the jump with CONVICTION.

He later bought his personal mount from us–a BEAUTIFUL eventer named Trip (and he lives up to his name).

I found that David was one of the most trustworthy PEOPLE I’ve ever worked with. He was the one to give me sound advice on owning a horse (don’t do unless you have at least $10,000.00 saved up, he told me), love and relationships, showing…I realized that he became a  sort of distant uncle to me.

As the gray mare, her family, and I found ourselves heading in a different direction, David and Trip stayed in touch. David invited me to come and ride Trip–show me what they’ve worked on. What they’ve improved. Showed me the ribbons, trophies…so many pictures of them jumping three foot spreads together. Fate decided how they would meet and I thank the gods everyday that they did.

Just before Christmas I got a phone call telling me, early in the morning, he passed away. After a long fight with a form of cancer, he slipped away. Leaving me, his loved ones, and Trip behind.

I’m still trying to cope with the fact that he’s gone. One of the people in this little world of riding and competing and horse-nuts, he was the person, I realize, I was trying to make proud. I have so many good memories of us, doing the thing that gave us both the greatest joy. But I miss him and I realize…I don’t mourn very well.

My current trainer has me working with a Paint Cross right now, and he is slowing teaching me to be a better rider.

In fact, one of my last memories of David and I was after I taken this Paint to my first Training Level Dressage show:

“You’ve blossomed into a lovely rider.”

Lesson Learned: Love each day like it’s your last.

“Every man who knows how to read has it in his power to magnify himself, to multiply the ways in which he exists, to make his life full, significant and interesting”

Aldous Huxley
English novelist and critic, 1894-1963

Do you ever read something and then instantly finding the rest of your life meaningless until you see some relation to that book in your day to day doings?

…No? Really…?

Well, I’ve felt that way about a few books. Not too many remain on my shelf to be read and read and then read again.
I came across an author the way I find most of my favorites: someone made it into a movie. Water for Elephants is certainly one of them. I think I finished that book in one sitting. But the author, Sara Gruen, has written two other books that I simply can’t put down: Flying Changes and Riding Lessons.

Both of these books have tugged at my heartstrings and given me back that eventing itch that I know will always be scratching at the surface of my life.

I checked both of these books out (as well as Water for Elephants) at my library. OR you could be the nice person and support this author by actually buying it at Barnes and Noble.

Lesson Learned: Reading can enlighten your life and inspire new dreams. (aaaand we’re done with the cheesy…)

Poem Here.

A good friend of mine (who also happens to be my trainer) had to put her partner down today.

I have to say, in the back of my head, as I went to see my little gray mare today, I kept wondering how I would cope when the time came to say good bye to her too.

I think I’ve touched upon retirement and death regarding our equine friends before, but for once this hit home a little close for me.

My little gray mare is not mine; I do not own her, but she has captured a rather substantial part of my heart. I believe I have mentioned before that upon the move to this area I was very unhappy. Our paths crossed and I owe her for bringing me the greatest joy and fun that I could imagine out here. Watching her age, and in particular this winter took its toll on her, I feel the need to do all I can to help her achieve her younger lifestyle. But I also need to remind myself that she will be 19 this year. And while I figure once the snow all melts, she’ll be back to her springy self, there comes a time when you just need to let nature take its course.

I guess my point here is, that I hope my friend will cross paths with a very special horse and, like me, will be granted the joy and thrill of another lifelong partner.

Lesson Learned: Grief and mourning are a part of life, just like first love; it takes time to grow until acceptance and then you will find happiness in your life again.

If I had a dime for every time that I thought of a horse’s beauty,  I’d have enough to buy one. –Author Unknown

Everyone has their interests. But when you find something that you intend to wrap your life around, you start to pick up little habits and research tidbits of information to make you a better person.

I’m constantly conscientious  of my posture while sitting at work or at the computer. If I work out (rare, but I do it) I ask: will this benefit my riding? And if I have downtime, I don’t usually go to gossip sites or nationally recognized retail chain store’s sites either: State Line, Dover, and TETWP are my choice for browsing.

My mom took me shopping yesterday at the mall. I enjoy retail therapy about once in a blue moon: I hate spending money. EXCEPT on the horse.

I love a good bargain (which is why most of my merchandise comes from the MSPCA Tack Box, or State Line), but I always feel good about buying something that will benefit the horse somehow. I don’t own a horse….yet….so I try to get some things that will benefit anyone I ride…or I will specifically buy for the little gray mare.

She looks great in pink or burgundy…thank you!

So while browsing the department stores at the mall I kept looking for things to help carry away my winter blues and bring on the spring fever…which I found…but my lifestyle choice had me asking myself over and over again: will this benefit my riding? The answer directly is no. But these clothes are meant for work. I keep my job, I earn money,  I can budget for lessons and other goodies for me and a little gray mare!

Lesson Learned: A bargain is only as good as the purpose it will serve.

O, wind,
If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?
~Percy Bysshe Shelley

I realize now that this time of year (especially with the onslaught of snow) that I am affected by seasonal depression.

My drive to do more has withered to amount to the drive to do just enough to get me through the day. I also find myself torn, emotionally and financially, between two things: pick up my mare that I’ve been working with for the past few years, or move on to something new.

I haven’t really talked much about the pretty little mare (who pretty much saved my sanity up here in the beginning) but she’s opened up a lot of doors for me. I don’t own her, and I ended my lease in the fall to try to save some money. I have saved some money, but I feel less satisfied.

I’ve been riding with a new trainer (well, new as of last summer) and tried a few other horses. Dabbled with a few greenies. But I keep comparing all of my rides to “my mare-mare”.

A high note this time of year can be found in little events; people coming together to ride and be happy and learn together. Just being with others at an organized occasion, even if its just a dinner party, can lift ones spirits.

Today Plum Grove held their Valentine’s Horse Show. The Children were encouraged to wear festive pink, red or purple. And of course, the center’s colors were worn by the drill team. It was nice to have so many people brave the cold to support their children and the friends that we inevitably make in this small world sport.

But again, while I didn’t compete, I kept comparing my ride to those that I’ve had with “my mare-mare”.

More on her later I suppose.

I guess I just need to decide my priorities: take on new challenges, take my experiences further with a well established partnership, take the next step in my adult life, or something else entirely?

Lesson learned: Winter will come, bare its teeth, and move on. Seasonal depression will too. Worrying will get you no where. Worrying solves nothing.

What delight
To back the flying steed, that challenges
The wind for speed! – seems native more of air
Than earth! – whose burden only lends him fire! -
Whose soul, in his task, turns labour into sport;
Who makes your pastime his!  I sit him now!
He takes away my breath!  He makes me reel!
I touch not earth – I see not – hear not.  All
Is ecstasy of motion!
~James Sheridan Knowles, The Love-Chase

So we ring in the new year…a few weeks late….with a MUCH overdue post.

My new year’s resolutions:

1. Do more. That is, if I ride, I try to ride once more each week than last year. If I read one book, I try to read two in a month, etc.
   
2. Donate blood. I have type O Positive; everyone can benefit from my blood. Click here to donate near you!
   
3. Update this blog.
   

Off to a good start! Every little bit helps. So here’s to a new start for this old blog.

Cheers!

Lesson learned: Time lost does not mean lost memories.

~Patrick Young

1. Long underwear. I always have two pairs–double them up in the colder temperatures under your regular riding clothes for extra warmth. For your equine partner, an exercise rug does just the trick to keep his muscles warm in warming up.
2. Socks. Lots and lots of socks. Wal-Mart usually has great deals on socks in bulk.
3. Thick heavy weatherproof sweater or jacket. Hand-me-downs work the best for this. Generally, you are not going to spend $200.00 on something that’s just bound to get muddy, dirty, covered in hay, horse snot, etc.
4. Groom, groom, groom…ALL WINTER LONG. If you don’t want to clip, that’s fine….just make sure to keep on top of the mud and the ice—that reeks havoc on your poor horses’ hooves and legs. Invest in a small, basic, personal grooming kit: curry comb, hard brush, hoof pick.
5. In warmer weather, you’ll want to have plenty of water bottles…or at least a cooler which can keep your liquids cold for you. Your horse will continue to need grooming, but now you can move on to baths after workouts and once a week a deep cleansing all over.

Lesson Learned: If you can live here, you can live anywhere.

” Don’t simply retire from something; have something to retire to.”

~Harry Emerson Fosdick

• It’s inevitable: everything ages. Nothing escapes the effects of time–joints stiffen, eyesight weakens, your memory starts to slip, etc. While I’m NO WHERE NEAR retiring myself, every equestrian has an equine partner who, at 25 years young is elderly to a horse, will have to retire one day. Most equestrians learned to ride on an older horse: a horse who has “been there, done that”, fearless, stubborn, smart…too smart. But it’s these characteristics that point to the appropriate time to retire.
  Hopefully most of us have not had to make that decision on our own. Neither have I, but one of my current partners is starting to show her age. Retirement escapes no one. While horses love to have a job to do, we all agree that after a faithful and loyal life to us, there is nothing better to seem them at their happiest in a grassy field in a herd where they can be themselves. This current partner of mine has a case of too much heart not enough body–her heart and spirit are in the right place, but her body just isn’t allowing her to do the things she loves safely. Fortunately it isn’t my choice, it’s her owner. And in this case, it is entire up to the owner of the horse what to do.

Lesson Learned: Allow a graceful aging process to happen–don’t force them to do what you wish you could do, allow them to perform to the best of their aging bodies’ ability. “Time grows old and men grow cold…but horses are a girls’ best friend”.

“Some have meat, and cannot eat, And some cannot eat that want it; But we have meat, and we can eat – And let the Lord be thanked.”  —-Robert Burns Scottish national poet of Scotland, who wrote lyrics and songs in the Scottish dialect of English. 1759-1796

• Not really the best thought provoking quote, but I wanted to talk about the most controversial issue in the equestrian world: horse meat. People growing up in the western hemisphere have a psychological problem in the idea of consumption of horse meat. I would like to challenge this and ask, really, what is so wrong in eating horse meat? People in Hindu cultures celebrate the cow as a holy icon…I’m sure they think similarly to how we eat beef in this part of the world.
• I for one would like to be the type of Equestrian who wants to try horse meat for the fact that I think it’s important to get a handle on all issues before making a judgment. And it is an issue that plagues the horseman world: between the appalling conditions that we are bombarded with images of horses in transport to slaughter to the “end of the road” fate that we fear.

Lesson Learned: I feel that to fully understand an issue to must look from all sides. This is mine. I’d like to know what yours is!

“Bravery is the capacity to perform properly even when scared half to death.”

–Omar Bradley

I can’t think of a more terrifying experience than being on the back of a 2,000 pound animal going close to 30 mph with nothing to slow you down but the looming possibilty that one measley gopher might be nearby….

As humans…well, as animals, really…we are built in with the ability to stand and fight when someone threatens us, or to turn and run. Horses, 9 times out of ten will choose to run. Which, makes sense…they are closer to the bottom of the food chain…but they can defend themselves rather well, especially when cornered (ironic).

But for humans, we’re at the top, and yet, for some reason, when we are frightened, we tend to, as my coach calls it, “fetal up”. It’s just what it sounds like, curling your body inward to protect your vitals (chest, heart, lungs, etc.) and thus, giving away your back end support on your horse.

To one of my students, who was maybe 6 or so, she would do this when her pony got too fast (it’s instinct, it’s natural…but to control a horse, this needs to be corrected…soon). So I encouraged her to sit up tall and to throw her shoulders further backward toward the rear than would normally feel comfortable. Of course this took some struggling…expected. But I was so proud of her, because she sat up and stayed tall even when the pony would trot a whopping 6.5mph! (Oh my!)

Lesson Learned: Kids are the bravest creatures I’ve ever met. Also the most entertaining.